I decided to go to church on my own tonight. I debated between going to Parkview, my mother in law's church and the Lutheran church down the street. I decided to go to Parkview. I enjoyed it more than I normally do, however the message wasn't what I was seeking today.
The crazy thing was that I had a "I miss my mom" moment on my way there. These hit me on occassion. Usually out of the blue and I end up in tears missing my mom so much it hurts. Today it was because I was talking to Maizie (I took her with me to church) about taking her to "see" Grandma DD this week because the weather is suposed to be warmer. I did this with Casten when he was small and want to do it with her as well. Then I corrected myself and said "Well we'll go to the cemetery anyway" and then I started to remember the morning after we brought Maizie home and I woke up trying to figure out a way to get up to my parents because my mom hadn't seen Maizie yet and I wanted to bring her over there. I seriously laid in bed for 5 minutes, half asleep trying to think of a way to get up there and get everyone home because I'd want all the kids to get to visit with Grandma DD. Then reality hit and I had to laugh at myself...seriously it's been almost 3 years since she passed away.
Anyway, so I go into the church with an open heart, ready to accept Jesus. The music started and I am singing along and I glance at the choir and there is this woman standing in the front row that catches my eye. From a distance she looked so much like my mom. It was scary how similar her her manorisms were to my mom's. I knew if i saw her up close she would look nothing like her but from this distance I could have sworn I was watching an older version of my mom. At the very end of the service we were singing a song and the song itself was really speaking to me and the way it was presented had me on the verge of tears, then I noticed the choir had come up the aisle (I was sitting on the edge) and were singing. When this mom look alike reached where I was at she stopped and turned around and finished singing the song. I lost it then. There I was in the middle of church sobbing. When the song was over this lady came over and was looking at Maizie and asking me questions about her. It was definately a very interesting experience! I had to look at this as God's work. Just a reminder that my mom is always with me wherever I am.